Goodbyes Are Not Forever…
Saying goodbye is never easy. Whether it is saying goodbye to a relationship, a loved one, a home, or a job; it can be a difficult and painful process. We often focus on what we are losing or have lost, and feel that saying goodbye means that it is the end. As a therapist, clients often tell me that they have trouble with saying goodbye. As a person, I too have struggled with goodbyes. It wasn’t until recently that I discovered that saying goodbye never really means the end; instead, it welcomes a new beginning.
Saying goodbye and letting go often work hand in hand with one another. This does not necessarily mean you are letting go of all things you have learned in your journey. It means being able to let go of any pain, anger, or other negative feeling connected to saying goodbye. If we begin to look at life as a journey, we can see the wealth of opportunities ahead to learn great things and create meaningful relationships along the way. We have to strive to move forward and keep improving ourselves -to be the best that we can be- in our journey. Sometimes the only way to move forward is to say goodbye.
Here are some examples of situations where we need to say goodbye, and what we can focus on letting go of vs. saying goodbye to forever.
Saying goodbye to a romantic relationship.
Though it may feel this way initially, letting go of a relationship that isn’t working does not mean that you can never be in a romantic relationship again. This means you have learned what you needed to in order to move forward in your life. Focus on letting go of the pain.
Saying goodbye to a loved one who has died.
Grieving is an extremely difficult process. Losing a loved one to death does not mean that you have to say goodbye to all the good memories you have. It does not mean letting go of what you learned in the relationship. It means letting go of the anger and pain connected to the loss of a loved one.
Saying goodbye to a job you have had for years.
Saying goodbye to an employer does not mean that you will never keep in touch. Think about the experience you have gained, the things you have learned, and how much you have contributed in your work environment. This job has prepared you for your next career adventure. Focus on letting go of what is familiar, and look forward to a new and exciting work environment.
Saying goodbye to a home you have lived in for years.
Saying goodbye to a home is surprisingly difficult. Focus on the memories you are taking with you and new memories that you are going to create. Think of how you were able to make that house into a home and that you will get a chance to do it again. Let go of the fear of moving forward and focus on adjusting to a new environment. A house can be a home no matter where you go.
Saying goodbye to your birthplace or moving to a different country.
Saying goodbye to a birth place is never easy. I had to do this in my teenage years. It was one of the most difficult experiences I’ve ever had to work through. I needed to remind myself that saying goodbye to the place where I was raised did not mean saying goodbye to my memories or my relationships. I had to focus on letting go of the fear that I had about the future and learn to step outside of my comfort zone.
In the past, saying goodbye has not been easy for me. It took time for me to understand exactly what I was saying goodbye to, and the negative feelings I had to let go of in order to move forward in my life. Saying goodbye is not the end, but instead it’s the hope for a new beginning. I had to learn to focus on letting go of the pain, anger, and sadness of saying goodbye so that I could take all that I learned and create a new chapter, a new beginning… If you are struggling with saying goodbye and moving forward in your life, please contact Life Enhancement Counseling Services today at 407-443-8862 to schedule an appointment with one of our Orlando mental health counselors.