Dealing With Disappointment—The Personal Side
A friend came to me recently and was distraught after a project she had invested blood, sweat, tears and a significant amount of money in failed. We sat on my sofa together and I was mostly quiet…just trying to be present for her and witness the quiet tears slowly streaming down her face.
After a while, the universe, or God, or whatever you believe in, had me say this to her. “Your tears are evidence of your passion. You are upset because this project is so very meaningful to you and it is not working out right now. We are always the most upset and frustrated by the things that mean the most to us.” She nodded her head in agreement and then we sat together a little while longer.
This conversation happened about a month ago and I have continued to reflect upon it. The same is true for those we love most. The people we are most passionate about cause us the most joy and the most pain. It is as if passion and pain are extrinsically linked. Just like love and grief. You cannot have one without the other. And you should not give up one because of the other. For example, I would never choose to stop loving my significant other just because I know the inevitable grief and disappointment I will experience if they die before me.
At the end of the evening, when my friend got up to leave, I told her that I knew she would persevere and that I was hopeful her passion and tenacity and love for her cause would propel her forward. And, they have. She is already back at the drawing board and gleaning success from her experience because now she knows what will not work and this too is helpful.
If you find yourself feeling disheartened, that is normal, especially if this feeling relates to circumstances or people you hold dear. Learning how to deal with disappointment and manage it well is key, though. Otherwise, disappointment may turn into depression.
If you are struggling with disappointment or think you might be depressed, our trained and experienced mental health therapists can help. Please contact Life Enhancement Counseling Services today at 407-443-8862. We would be honored to work with you.