The Love Cycle—Also Known as Grief (The Practical Side)
“The cost of love is grief.” I am not sure where I heard this quote, but it has stayed with me for years. I am well-versed in grief—both personally and professionally—so I suspect I heard it from Alan Wolfelt, David Kessler or some other grief expert I study behind hoping to glean kernels of wisdom to offer my clients. Shameless plug, because I get nothing from it, I highly recommend all books written by Wolfelt and Kessler on the subject of grief.
**Before I dive into the practical blog on this topic, I want to provide caution. Grief is difficult to experience, speak of and even read about. Some of the things mentioned in this blog may be triggering to you and stir up strong emotions. Please make sure you are prepared to read about grief and take some time following reading this to engage in some form of self-care.**
The idea is this…if you love, you will grieve. When we talk about “the human experience” we propose that there are certain universal experiences—falling in love, facing heartbreak, starting a new job, moving, leaving home, etc. However, we rarely mention that grief is central to the human experience. No human on the planet will make it through this life without loss—except for babies who die too young to know—leaving incredible pain in their wake, but not realizing it because they are new, perfect, pure.
Some of us make it into adulthood before we lose someone we love. Others do not. Some of us experience what we call expected loss—the death of our aged grandparents. Others of us face unexpected and unimagined loss—the death of a parent as a child, murder of a loved one, infant loss and the like. No matter how or when, we all experience loss, death, grief and mourning.
Grief is the searing pain and loss that hits us when we discover our loved one is gone. Mourning is the process of walking that grief out. A close friend of mine says the only way to lessen the pain of death is to walk through it. We have to experience all of the feelings—shock, denial, anger, confusion, sadness and more. (And no, these don’t always happen in order). We have to cry and feel confused. We have to talk about our pain and we have to find ways to memorialize our loved ones and figure out who we are without them. It is a process.
I will speak more to grief and loss in the personal blog on this topic. For now, please take personal inventory. Are you experiencing loss or grief on any level? It could be a loved one, a job, your health, a home…even a friendship. If you are suffering and need support, please reach out. Our seasoned psychotherapists are trained to help you process your grief and feel supported on your journey to healing. Please contact Life Enhancement Counseling Services today at 407-443-8862. We look forward to speaking with you.