In his article on Psychology Today (www.psychologytoday.com ), Arash Emamzadeh defines two types of loneliness which speak to different types of loneliness that may emerge if we do not have community.

Emotional loneliness is described as, “an unpleasant feeling resulting from the perception that one is missing an ‘intimate attachment relationship’ or that the existing relationship is inadequate. Emotional loneliness is a very common experience in people who have recently divorced or become widowed.”

Social loneliness is defined as, “an unpleasant feeling resulting from the perception of not belonging, a lack of social integration, or experiencing one’s social network as deficient. Those more likely to experience social loneliness include people who have moved to a new school or job or migrated to a new country.”

In America today, people are experiencing both emotional and social loneliness. Folks are longing for both intimate attachment relationships as described above and social connection in which they feel connected to their schools, communities and places of business.

One of the aspects of our lives that we can control that impacts our mental health is our connection with others. The way you will connect with others depends on your life season. You may be the stay-at-home mom of a little who has the time and ability to volunteer at school and connect with other moms and teachers. You may be a middle-aged man who enjoys leading and decides that you will head up a neighborhood association in order to connect with and help your neighbors in addition to improving quality of life.

In the same vein, the way you connect with others may look vastly different from this. Your connection with others may be more one-on-one due to the life season you are in or simply just your personality style. Your engagement in “community” may look like making sure you carve out time to have coffee every week with someone who encourages you and brings joy to your life. Your community may involve having a bi-weekly golfing outing with friends who make you laugh and force you to be active and spend time outside which also improves your mental health.

No matter how you choose to do community, I encourage you to do it. Our connection with others, the time we invest in others and the benefits we receive from that investment, is something we can control. Focused time with others we value boosts our mood, connects us and lets us feel seen and heard. If you are feeling lonely or in need of human connection, we can help. Please contact Life Enhancement Counseling Services today at 407-443-8862 to schedule an appointment with one of our experienced psychotherapists.