Solitude versus Loneliness
Loneliness is defined as a subjective, unpleasant feeling of isolation or lack of connection with others. Solitude is the quality or state of being alone or far-off from society: seclusion; an uninhabited place. Solitude is different from loneliness, in that when we speak of loneliness it has this negative undertone, like loneliness is not chosen. But, solitude has a neutral to positive tone, like to choose solitude or seclusion or to choose to be alone versus loneliness often implies that lack of choice. We all need solitude but we do not all NEED loneliness; there’s a difference. Solitude can be a great way to stimulate creativity!
Robert Coplan is a psychologist who studies the cost and benefits of solitude across the lifespan. Coplan cites the shower effect in an example of this, “If you do your best thinking in the shower, you are not alone”. The most common locations where people have sudden insights (“aha!” moments) include in the shower, during transport, and while exercising. Though these activities are not always solitary; these activities typically offer a break from our usual constant stream of information we have when engaging with others, especially socially. In solitude our mind has the space to wander, to think freely. Free thinking stimulates different parts of our brains than what we do normally. This gives backing to the suggestion of taking a break and then coming back to something later when you’re stuck. Give yourself some free-thinking space to let your mind wander and reset. Productivity is not always king, sometimes that rest, even mental rest is what is needed.
Free thinking mind also does not account for the fact that our brain can go to “bad” or less positive spaces as well! Mind wandering focused on the past or other has been found in studies to put people in a worse mood. Ruminating: repeatedly thinking negative thoughts, can trigger anxiousness and sadness. Daydreaming about the future or focusing on oneself was found conversely to increase positive mood! So open your mind to new avenues of thought focused on yourself or the future versus others or the past for more positive mind meandering.
Creativity when alone can be sparked, according to Benjamin Baird, when there is a sweet spot to be found between boring and demanding. “Participants were asked to list unusual uses for common objects as a test of their creativity, but under different conditions. The results were striking. People who took a break and engaged in a mildly demanding task (labelling odd vs. even numbers on a screen) produced more new ideas than those who engaged in more demanding tasks, did nothing during the break, or who did not have a break at all. Doing something – but something that is not overly demanding – appears to be most helpful in terms of allowing the brain to solve problems.” During the completion of the tasks that are less demanding, your mind is FREE. Your mind can wander, and it goes to places that can help you connect the dots in your head.
Flow is an influential concept from Mihalyi Csikszentmihalyi as a peak or optimal experience; being in the flow state. We often see athletes or artists such as musicians refer to this phenomenon. Flow is this state where you are so deeply absorbed in a specific activity, feeling confident and un-self-conscious and losing track of time or surroundings. Some have argued that solitude is needed to achieve flow state, but, Liu and Csikszentmihalyi found that participants who were more extroverted reported more frequent flow during social activities, whereas introverts were more likely to experience flow while in solitude. Nevertheless, Csikszentmihalyi noted many other benefits of solitude and offered this advice near the end of this paper, “interacting with others can be a good source of an enjoyable life, but one has to learn to enjoy solitude as well to complete some of life tasks that demand absolute concentration.”
I invite you to challenge the way you perceive solitude and loneliness, as well as think about the place or purpose it holds in your life. Solitude can be a gateway to many things for ourselves if we can tolerate and enjoy this chosen alone time. If you are someone who feels lonely or wants to feel more comfortable in your own company reach out to Life Enhancement Counseling Services today at 407-443-8862 to schedule an appointment with one of our licensed mental health counselors.
Resources:
