3 Ways to Connect With Your Partner Emotionally and Physically — The Personal Side

I can remember being a young girl and offhandedly complaining to my mother as we were packing for a beach vacation that it seemed like a lot of work. She looked at me and not so depressingly said, “Everything in life takes work, even going on a vacation. You work before you go and you work when you get back.”

When I think of adult romantic relationships and specifically my relationship with my husband, I am reminded of that quote. Romantic relationships require a lot of work, but they can be so rewarding and even fun at times—like a vacation.

We live in a society where instant gratification is promoted, celebrated and normalized. However, if you are in a committed romantic relationship, and especially one that you want to last, you are going to have to make some investments and some sacrifices too. You are also going to have to be intentional in the way you interact with your partner. So what does investing in your relationship and “living intentionally” look like in everyday life?

Here are some things I do to invest in my relationship and make the most of my time with my partner.

1)      Communicate:  I do my best to regularly share my thoughts and feelings—good and bad—in an honest, calm and non-judgmental way.

2)      Connect:  I try to schedule time to spend with my partner every single week. During this time, we talk—really talk—to one another without the TV going or our phones in our hands. I find it so refreshing just talking about my week for 30 uninterrupted minutes. You can even do this on a budget and make dinner at home or just grab a cup of coffee together.

3)      Promote intimacy:  “Good sex” as I said in the earlier blog flows out of good communication and emotional intimacy. Or, as my friend used to say, “Sex starts in the morning”—meaning if you are kind and emotionally intimate with someone all day there is a much bigger chance s/he will want to have sex with you at night. So, talk, share and demonstrate kindness towards your partner in ways that will be meaningful to him/her. Make time for intimacy. And then, see what happens. 

In my experience, communicating, connecting and intimacy often necessitate some amount of planning. That is why I said we must be intentional in our relationships. I have to remind myself to share my feelings. I have to literally schedule time to spend with my partner. And I am even sometimes deliberate when it comes to intimacy. 

Relationships require work, but the reward is so worth it. When couples spend time and energy investing in and demonstrating kindness towards one another they feel understood, valued and loved.  If you are looking to get more out of your relationship a licensed mental health counselor can help you. Please call Life Enhancement Counseling Services today at 407-443-8862 to make an appointment. 


Yolanda Brailey