Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing: Marriage and Kids—The Personal Side

In the practical blog on marriage and raising kids, I asked you to spend some time assessing how you spend most of your time. The pathway to change begins with examining your current situation. As you took notice of your schedule, what stood out for you? What would you like to spend more time doing? What would you like to spend less time doing? Do you feel most of your time is spent on meaningful endeavors?

I will let you in on a little secret. For me, hindsight really is often 20/20. The longer I live, the more I can look back and see what has and has not worked for me in my relationships and family. As I mature, I continue to gain insight into how to make my partnership with my husband and my relationship with my children better. I encourage you to regularly examine your schedule to ensure that your life and relationships are progressing in ways you find meaningful, beautiful and fulfilling.

Here is the thing: you have to define what really matters to you when it comes to marriage and children early on so that you can navigate life in a way that upholds those values. For example, my husband and I spent a season trying to navigate opposite schedules. We worked hard, persevered and accomplished our goals, BUT we learned so much from that season. After several months of not having much time together and feeling like ships passing in the night, we decided we would not engage in schedules that keep us from spending enough time together again unless we absolutely had to do so. We continue to honor this value.

Knowing your values and regularly assessing each life activity to see if they honor those values keeps your family life moving in a positive direction. Of course there will always be curve balls in life, but remembering what your “main things” are and sticking to them will keep you on the right track. As my friend with several children always says, “Remember your first love.” Your first love is your partner and your second love is your children. Everything else takes second place to these. Furthermore, all of your commitments should keep these “loves” first priority.

If you are having trouble in your marriage or with your children, a licensed Orlando therapist can help you. Life Enhancement Counseling Services provides individual, couples, family, adolescent and child counseling.  Start the new year off right and call 407-443-8862 today to make an appointment. 


Yolanda Brailey