Like Fine Wine—the Personal Side

I was at a dinner party and one of the women there was jokingly telling her husband that now that he is 40 years old he is only 10 years from 50 and 20 years from 60. We all laughed and continued nibbling on our appetizers and sipping our drinks, but her comment did get me thinking. I started thinking about how fast time passes and about what I hope to be like when I am 60, 70, maybe even 90. I thought about what I might be like years later as my life season, relationship and of course body changes.

It is such a cliché saying that the “only constant is change,” but it is also so very true. Even if we stay living in the same home, with the same partner or have the same job for twenty, thirty or forty years, our lives still change dramatically—especially when it comes to our relationships and dare I say it, our bodies.

Over the course of our lifetime our relationships are constantly changing from friendships to partners to children and grandchildren. From teachers to professors to mentors to bosses. We are always learning from others and how best to engage the beautiful tapestry of different people we are privileged to meet during our lifespan. For even though human beings seek the same basic things—love, understanding and acceptance—we are all so different based on our cultures, our upbringing and at the most basic level our DNA.

And don’t forget our bodies. No matter how good we are at taking care of them they change. All you have to do is look through old photos to see how. We get a little weaker, a little slower and our eyes a little dimmer as time moves by. We get stiff and feel things in places we never noticed before. We need more rest, more fiber and more comfortable shoes. If you are reading this and thinking, “not me,” be warned! Your body will one day change too. Promise. So no laughing at us older folks.

My point is that things are always changing and we need to be changing too. I am not suggesting that every day you wake up you need to reinvent yourself. However, I am proposing that as our bodies, our life circumstances and the people around us change, we need to be willing to change too. We need to embrace the mindset of wanting to adapt however necessary so that we do not miss out on the best we can receive from life in whatever moment, state or season we are currently experiencing. If we are unable or unwilling to change with the tides of life we are more likely to feel frustrated, grow bitter and miss out on the beauty that the world still has to offer—because there is always beauty to be found in life no matter what you are facing. Sometimes we just have to look harder for it.

I think my friend Joe (who I talked about in part 1) has truly mastered this ability. When he is sick he parks his chair in front of the ocean and talks to a good friend on the phone and laughs about good times. When he is well, he takes his friends deep sea fishing and they catch Mahi together. He embraces whatever moment he is in—no matter what state he is in—and is always looking for what he can contribute to those around him. In doing this, he not only contributes, but receives joy from the universe.

How about you? Do you possess the skills and mindset necessary to adapt well? Are you able to embrace new life seasons with purpose and peace? If you are struggling with adapting to life—regarding your health/body or even a certain relationship—a trained mental health therapist can help you. She can help you learn how to adapt to ever changing life and not just weather it, but embrace each moment as it unfolds. Please call Life Enhancement Counseling Services in Orlando today at 407-443-8862 to schedule an appointment.


Yolanda Brailey