Are you ever amazed by the strength and resilience of others and wonder if you would be able to withstand the hardships you see others face? I think most of us have that person in our lives that we see get dealt blow after blow and seem to handle it with relative ease and grace. We’re sure if we were ever faced with half the difficulties they have, we would most certainly crumble.
Resilience is something researchers have been trying to figure out for years. What makes some people able to push through difficulty and come out the other side stronger, while others seem unable to face adversity at all? Although there are some aspects of resilience that may stem from personality traits or aspects of us that we’re born with, there are also things we can learn to become more resilient and face hardships without allowing them to break us. I believe we are stronger than we think and are able to walk through difficulties that we may have thought weren’t possible until we had to.
According to life coach, Amita Patel, the most common practices of resilient people are:
- The ability to delay gratification: waiting for “what’s right” instead of acting on what we want right now allows us to be mindful of our actions and make choices based on long term goals. This ability helps us to see the bigger picture and not just focus on what isn’t going right in the moment.
- Be uncomfortable: Allowing ourselves to sit with discomfort and not panic helps us to make decisions that aren’t based solely on emotion. Recognizing that some discomfort is inevitable and ok can lead us to feeling calmer when difficulties arise.
- Practice acceptance: Accepting a situation or person is not the same as agreeing with it or saying it’s ok. Accepting is simply acknowledging the reality of a situation and not fighting this reality. I can accept the reality of a situation, but also take steps to change it if possible. If someone wronged me, fighting with the fact that it happened only creates suffering. When we’re able to accept it, we can take steps to change things so it doesn’t happen again.
- Acknowledge you may not have all the answers right now: Sometimes, when we’re faced with hardship, we go around and around in our minds about what we should do, what is the right answer, etc. This only creates anxiety and fear. Often, we don’t have the right answers right away-and that’s ok. The ability to be still and know the answers will come helps us not tire ourselves out with needless worry. Trusting yourself, that you’ll recognize the right thing to do-enables us to not make decisions out of desperation or fear.
These practices take time and aren’t necessarily our first instinct when a crisis occurs. Sometimes we need help from another person to get us through and to guide us through these practices. A licensed mental health therapist can help. Please call Life Enhancement Counseling Services today at 407-443-8862 to schedule an appointment with one of our experienced counselors.