Building Your Sound Relationship House: Part 6- Making Dreams and Aspirations Come True

This aspect of Gottman’s Sound Relationship House focuses on partner’s helping each other achieve their goals, dreams, and aspirations. Not only do the partner’s listen and learn about what the other hopes to achieve, but they work on ways to help each other reach those goals.

Helping your partner work towards his or her personal goals is important for many reasons. Gottman found that unfulfilled dreams could even be the source of conflict within relationships. “…many of the seemingly pointless and frustrating issues that you find yourself constantly arguing about with your partner are anything but insignificant. In truth, they are rooted in your deepest and most meaningful dreams, hopes, and desires for your own life, as well as the life that you share together,” (The Gottman Institute, 2013).

If your hopes and dreams are not being met, you may perceive the relationship as a block to achieving certain goals and resentment can build against your partner. Instead of working together to achieve individual and shared dreams, partners may turn on each other and start blaming the other for missed opportunities and unmet dreams. In turn, your significant other becomes your opposition, rather than your partner. This can lead to emotional detachment from each other.

Conversely, honoring each other’s dreams can be exciting, fulfilling, and much more feasible. How much easier is it to accomplish something when you have someone supporting you each step of the way? Gottman suggests tangible ways in which partners can be more supportive (i.e. financially, logistically, and emotionally). How can you and your significant other start brainstorming today?

If you would like help learning how to honor your partner’s dreams, please call Life Enhancement Counseling Services today at 407-443-8862 to schedule an appointment with one of our trained mental health counselors.


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