“You don’t need love to make a relationship last.” I recently heard this quote at a speaking engagement. The topic was marriage and the expert was illustrating how love gets us into our relationships, but that it takes much more than that for a love relationship to stand the test of time. For a relationship […]
Many couples (whether they are dating or in a committed relationship) spend so much time and energy whirling around in circles. They’re trying to understand each other, guessing if the other truly cares, wondering if they are committed… mostly just trying to figure out if they can trust each other. Part of the game is due […]
Think back to the last time your child threw a temper tantrum or had a complete emotional meltdown. What were you thinking about? What was your child thinking about? How were both of you feeling? Maybe you were feeling frustrated, confused, angry, or even sad? Your child probably could not eloquently explain to you exactly […]
The final step in Gottman’s Sound Relationship House is Creating Shared Meaning. This area focuses on rituals of connection, roles, goals, and symbols for the couple. Gottman posits that each family creates its own unique culture. Within that family’s culture, different things, holidays, traditions, etc. hold great importance. For example, some families insist that dinnertime […]
This aspect of Gottman’s Sound Relationship House focuses on partner’s helping each other achieve their goals, dreams, and aspirations. Not only do the partner’s listen and learn about what the other hopes to achieve, but they work on ways to help each other reach those goals.
The next step in building your own sound relationship house is learning to manage conflict. I believe that conflict is part of every relationship, but it doesn’t have to be something that blows up or makes our relationship less enjoyable.
The next step in building your own sound relationship house is learning to create a positive perspective or positive sentiment override instead of a negative sentiment override. Many couples experience positive sentiment override at the start of a relationship.
The next step in building your own sound relationship house is turning towards instead of away from your partner. This means learning to recognize little day-to-day attempts made by your partner to connect with you.
The next step in building your own sound relationship house is nurturing fondness and admiration. Sometimes in relationships, we can let the stresses of life get in the way and it can be easy to focus on the negative things about our partner instead of enjoying who they are like we do at the beginning […]
Marriages and romantic relationships take a lot of work, and it is hard to know what to do when we don’t feel the relationship is as satisfying as it could be. Luckily, there is a researcher named John Gottman who has spent decades studying love and marriage scientifically and has developed a list of traits […]