She Loves Me. She Loves Me Not. – The Practical Side

Relationships can be highly rewarding or extremely difficult. Sometimes, they are both of these things at the same time. There is no question human beings long to connect with others, be loved and feel a sense of belonging in the world. However, life does not come with a relationship manual. Much of what we learn about relationships in our early lives comes from our parents, which can be good or bad. As we mature, our lives intersect with other individuals and we learn from their relational styles as well. Sometimes we purposefully adopt the relational styles and techniques we feel are best from the smorgasbord we have been presented. Other times we simply treat others as we have been treated, largely unaware of our actions and the patterns we are repeating. 

We spend our entire lives trying to connect emotionally with others. We long for intimacy, emotional connection and of course romance. Let’s address romance first. Romance is largely a construct of society, and specifically Hollywood. Relationships are not naturally magical the way the movies portray them because life is complicated. However, romance is real and does happen; individuals must commit to doing some practical work regularly to foster it.

Second, emotional connection and intimacy also require work. In order to feel emotionally intimate with someone, you must create the time and space for that to happen. Couples need date nights and quality time together–pieces of time carved out of their busy lives to sit and talk candidly about their feelings, goals, worries and concerns. Emotional connection requires time, energy and the willingness of both parties to speak honestly about their feelings.

Finally, communication is key. Couples can go on dates, set aside quality time and do a host of other things in an effort to develop emotional connection, but if they lack positive communication skills and the willingness to be honest, their efforts may be thwarted or fail entirely. A licensed mental health counselor or relationship specialist helps couples learn and implement communication skills that empower couples to feel heard, understood and supported.

Whether you are in a new relationship, engaged or have been married for a while, meeting with a relationship counselor can help you learn new communication skills, set goals and work toward achieving the emotional connection and intimacy you desire in your relationship.  Please call Life Enhancement Counseling Services of Orlando today at (407) 620-7855 to make an appointment to speak with a therapist. 


Yolanda Brailey