Count to Ten — The Personal Side

I have never had what you would call an “anger problem.” However, during graduate school to become a licensed mental health counselor, I discovered two main things about myself and anger. The first is related to forgiveness and the second involves stress and daily life.

A portion of my training to become a licensed therapist involved self-examination. The idea, I think, was that you could not be a good therapist if you had never “been the client.” During some soul searching I realized that I had some residual anger towards a few people from my past who had wounded me emotionally.  I was able to work through my feelings, and realized that for me, holding onto anger (even when justified), did nothing to contribute to my emotional well-being. I also learned that letting go of my anger did NOT mean I condoned the other person’s actions.

The second thing I have learned about anger relates to stress. I believe every person has red flags that appear when they are emotionally stressed or fatigued.  These red flags are often behaviors. For example, some people when they are stressed eat, some overspend, some drink heavily, etc. While I do not have a particular problem with anger, I have noticed that when I am feeling overwhelmed or stressed out my fuse is much shorter. For example, I get agitated more easily when say, someone cuts me off in traffic or something during my day does not go according to plan. When I notice that my reaction does not match the situation—meaning I am getting more upset than I should—I realize that maybe I have too much on my plate. At times like these I take time for myself and engage in activities that rejuvenate my emotional and spiritual health. 

As I said in my practical blog, anger is often a sign of another problem, but may be the problem all itself.  Whether you are trying to work through feelings of anger towards someone from your past or present, are feeling stressed or overwhelmed, or are just having difficulty controlling your anger from day to day a licensed mental health counselor can help you. Working through anger, learning coping skills and gaining insight into your emotions can result in a peaceful and balanced life. To make an appointment with a licensed counselor, please call Life Enhancement Counseling Services today at 407-443-8862.


Yolanda Brailey