I cannot tell you how many individuals have sat in my office and bared their souls about the pain they have experienced as the result of an affair. Affairs damage people and relationships and they are hard to bounce back from. And, yet, it is possible to learn, grow and heal from the experience—however painful. This is the power and beauty of the human spirit I have seen rise up in individuals as they sit across from me in my office, we work through the aftermath of an affair as they embrace healing and find new strength. There is no certain way to heal after an affair. Some people forgive, others do not. Some people stay together, others do not. Sometimes one person puts in tremendous work to repair the broken relationship and the other does not.

There is no one-size-fits-all treatment for affairs. However, most of the actions that can be done to help prevent affairs are well known and fairly easy to execute. So why don’t we do these things—the list I gave in the practical blog on this topic? There are many reasons, but I think some include being too busy, not being intentional and having the mindset that once you are together for good the main work is done. Romantic relationships, just like regular relationships, require a large amount of work to grow. And they require a moderate amount of work just to be maintained. We love the glamorous idea of relationships we see on TV and in movies, but we don’t always want the work of say, being thoughtful, setting up a date or initiating sex (or engaging in sex when we are tired).

I encourage you to take thoughtful assessment of your marriage/relationship. Are you doing what is required not only for maintenance, but so that you can grow and thrive together? If you are struggling individually or in your marriage, we can help. Please contact Life Enhancement Counseling Services today at 407-443-8862 to schedule an appointment.