Divorce Resolutions–The Personal Side
“Divorcees are losing the person they have been most connected to their whole life” (The New York Times). This is the grief piece of divorce I spoke about in the practical blog on this subject. Divorce involves loss, grief, loneliness and sometimes shame.
In my personal and professional experiences of divorce, I have learned many things. The first is that divorce is a grieving process. Divorcees experience a range of emotions in no particular order, but no matter what…they experience loss, change and the hard work of moving forward.
The new beginnings piece of life after divorce is huge. I have helped friends learn how to write a check, come up with a budget, do laundry or balance a checkbook all because they never had to do these things. A person who has not cooked dinner for a decade may find themselves standing in the kitchen staring at pots and pans for the first few months following a divorce wondering where to begin.
Many of the ways we can nurture ourselves or support our friends are practical. Hire someone to mow their lawn for a few months until they can learn how to do it. Offer to take a cooking class together. Ask them if there are any other tasks they are needing to learn that you can assist with. Here are some other practical ways you can support divorcees:
- Do not say “I told you so” or give them advice. Just listen.
- Do not bash their ex.
- Invite them to social events. Take them to lunch. Have coffee or tea with them.
- Bring them dinner or offer to take their kids for an afternoon or evening so they can rest.
- Help them with practical life tasks as described above.
- Encourage them to see a counselor.
If you are facing divorce, or experiencing any other major life stressor, Life Enhancement Counseling Services is here to help. Our seasoned mental health clinicians are here to support you and your children during this life transition. Please don’t wait. Contact us today at 407-443-8862 to schedule an appointment.