I cannot tell you how many times I have had clients sit in my office and recount negative and hurtful things their parents, partners or friends have said to them. Sometimes the hurtful words were uttered decades ago and the client will still remember every word verbatim.

The words we speak are powerful. Once the words leave our lips they cannot be taken back. I think of the old saying “the die is cast.” Once the die is cast there is no going back. What we say cannot be unspoken. 

Our words hold the potential to damage or heal, encourage or discourage, help or hurt. If you think about the people you speak to most and what you say, would you consider the overall theme of your speech negative or positive? When you leave the presence of others do you leave them more or less encouraged than you found them?

My friend has a teenage son who just started dating and she shared this. She said that her son will most likely date a few people or even many before he settles on one to marry. She said that the goal of her and her husband is to leave each person “better than they found her/him.” I was confused by this statement at first so I asked my friend to elaborate. She stated that her family wants to show as much kindness and love to each person her son brings home. She wants to invite her/him for dinner, buy them gifts and encourage each with positive words as much as possible. I absolutely love this and wonder what it would be like if we all aimed to “leave others better than we found them.”

Please know that as a therapist I completely understand that the holidays are a difficult time for many people. Depression often spikes during this time of year—especially as many people have to deal with loneliness and economic hardship. If you are feeling depressed, we at Life Enhancement Counseling Services can help. And, if you are just recognizing that your words and outlook may not be as positive as you would like, we can also support you as you explore why and work to make changes. This holiday season give yourself the gift of self-care. Please contact Life Enhancement Counseling Services today at 407-443-8862 to schedule an appointment with one of our seasoned mental health clinicians.