“Resilience is a lifelong project.”  I heard someone say this last week and it struck a chord with me. As a therapist, I hear and read much about the idea of resilience. Some people think you are born with it, others think you learn it.  No matter where we think resilience comes from, we all want it.  We all want to weather the trying times in life and emerge strong and capable. 

The year 2020 has tested our resilience. As mentioned in the practical blog on this topic, we have all experienced unmet expectations over the past year. And when our expectations are unmet—repeatedly in different ways—we discover whether or not we are resilient. We get to see what happens to us in “life’s refining fire.” Do we emerge as gold—which cannot burn up? Or melt away quickly?

I used to think resilience was some sort of super power. Meaning, when things did not go as I expected I felt I should wake up each day feeling strong, capable and overflowing with hope. And maybe some people do in the face of hardship. However, over time, through my own life experiences, through reading books and articles and listening to speakers and influencers I have come to look at resilience in a new light.

While I do believe that some people are born with more natural resilience than others, I also believe that resilience is cultivated and is in fact a lifelong project. Resilience can be nurtured and grow.  Resilience is grown in the days and weeks in which people with chronic pain continue to do their lives in the midst of suffering. Resilience is strengthened in moms and dads who have babies and keep going day after day without sleep or downtime. Resilience is found in our military heroes who are willing to sacrifice all and go days without seeing their loved ones because they believe in a common good.

Resilience is available to everyone. Sure it will look different for different people living out different experiences and challenges. But with the right support and tools we can all learn to be resilient and even grow our ability to demonstrate resilience with time. 

If you are in need of support during the new year we are here to help. Please contact Life Enhancement Counseling Services at 407-443-8862 to make an appointment with one of our experienced mental health clinicians. We look forward to partnering with you today.