So Happy Together? – The Personal Side

Dependent. Co-dependent. Afraid to be alone. Passive. I have been all of these things at some point in my life, though less and less so as the years go by. As my mom likes to say, my “emotional batting average” continues to improve.

Many different people, experiences and I am sure even some “hardwiring” (my genetic makeup) have contributed to my past tendencies of not wanting to be alone, wanting others’ approval and being more passive than assertive. However, over the years I have discovered that for me, at the core of most of my problems with dependency, was a lack of self-love. Self-love, self-esteem, self-confidence—whatever you want to call it, I needed more of it.

It sounds so simple to say, “Well, just learn to love yourself you will be healthier physically, mentally and emotionally.” But, there is more to the process. As I said before, for me, as for many people, the cause of dependency is often multi-faceted.  Getting to the root of why we think, act and behave the way we do may take time, willingness and the expertise of a professional mental health therapist–not to mention a boatload of courage. Nevertheless, I know it is no surprise when I say the process of discovering how to truly love oneself is incredibly rewarding. Learning how to be comfortable in your skin and stand up for your needs and wants is one of the most liberating experiences of humankind. I always think it sounds cheesy, but I have found it true—if you learn to love yourself you will not only love others well, but will live a happier and healthier life.

If you are struggling with any dependency related issues a licensed mental health counselor can help you. She can help you get to the root of your dependency issues and aid you in implementing new skills and behaviors to help you on your healing journey. Please call Life Enhancement Counseling Services today at 407-443-8862 to make an appointment. 


Yolanda Brailey