Divorce happens to other people, right?

When we get married, we have many plans and dreams for our future with our partner. Most of us know that the divorce rate is over 50%, but we just know that it won’t happen to us…..and then it does.

There are a wide range of emotions that are normal as we progress from separation through to the finalization of our divorce. Sadness, fear, self-pity, loneliness and social embarrassment are all completely normal given the nature, magnitude and number of changes that we have to make as we transition from a married person back into a single person.  Divorcing requires us to find a new place to live, separate belongings, untangle finances/bills, disclose the break up to our loved ones etc.

The shift from single person to a married one is usually marked by engagement parties, bridal showers, bachelor parties, wedding ceremonies, honeymoons and wedding gifts. We have the people we love around us to celebrate and support us as we transition to married life and make all the adjustments of two separate lives joining together.  Unfortunately, we don’t really have any socially acceptable way to acknowledge or support people as they divorce.  Most divorcing people simply lean on friends and family and muddle through the myriad of thoughts, feelings and tasks of disentangling their lives from their ex-spouse.

As we make the practical, financial and emotional adjustments of divorce, we are grieving. We don’t just grieve when someone we love dies; we grieve all losses to some extent.  Throughout the divorce process, we are grieving the loss of the future we thought we were going to have with our partner. We are grieving the loss of our identity as a “married person.” We may also be grieving the security of having a life partner to rely on if we get sick, lose our job or just need a shoulder to cry on.

Many people seek professional counseling as they go through the divorce process to get support and guidance on managing the emotions and challenges of their divorce. If you are going through a separation or divorce and feel like you would benefit from expert advice and support, please call Life Enhancement Counseling Services at 407-443-8862 to schedule an appointment today.


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