I Choose Joy—The Personal Side

I am a recovering pessimist. Sometime in middle school I realized I was a pessimist. I think it happened after hearing from more than a few friends and family members that I had a very negative outlook on life. But, to be fair, I had my reasons.


I Choose Joy—The Practical Side

When is the last time you heard the word, “joy”? It is not a commonly used word. I hear people say, “Why am I not happy?” or, “I don’t know what to do to feel happy,” but rarely do I hear someone use the word “joy.”


Codependency: When Giving Becomes Too Much — The Personal Side

I have always said that if you understand the history, there is no “crazy behavior.” I have been providing mental health treatment as a counselor since 2006 and still hold firmly to this belief. Having said this, I believe there are many good and pure reasons that people get pulled into codependency. Some people are […]


Codependency: When Giving Becomes Too Much — The Practical Side

The term “co-dependency” is synonymous with the term “enabler.” Codependency in the mental health field was coined from the mental health niche of substance abuse treatment. Friends, family members and loved ones of those who abused substances and stood by their side in unhealthy ways were labeled, “codependent.” Such codependent persons covered for a loved […]


“Courage, Dear Heart”—The Personal Side

A dear friend gave me the idea for this blog a couple of months ago and I have been thinking hard about it ever since. I think it is because the word “courage” is not often used today. In shows that I watch, books that I read and podcasts and talks I listen to, there […]


“Courage, Dear Heart”—The Practical Side

The title of this blog is in quotes because it is from a movie or book from some years ago. I cannot remember the name of the movie or book, but I do remember hearing the phrase and it being quite significant. While I am not one of those people who easily memorizes movie or […]


Just Keep Swimming—The Personal Side

If you have ever found yourself without hope, it is a very dark place. As a therapist, I would love to say that I have never been without hope, but that just is not true. If I am honest, there have been moments when I have thought, “I have no idea how this is going […]


Just Keep Swimming—The Practical Side

“Just keep swimming!” Do you remember this line from the movie, Finding Nemo?  I do.  And when I think of this saying, the very next phrase that comes to mind is “sink or swim.” I probably think of these phrases together since they both involve the ocean and more importantly, the tenacity to keep going. […]


Dealing With Disappointment—The Personal Side

A friend came to me recently and was distraught after a project she had invested blood, sweat, tears and a significant amount of money in failed. We sat on my sofa together and I was mostly quiet…just trying to be present for her and witness the quiet tears slowly streaming down her face.


Dealing With Disappointment—The Practical Side

“You need to be good at losing.” This is something I grew up hearing. What my mom meant when she said this is that I needed to respond well to disappointment. She did not mean I should expect to lose or even not care about losing. She meant that when things did not go as […]