Not everything about getting older is bad. In fact, some things get better with age, especially if we work on them. I am going to be incredibly transparent and say that in the past I was not good at treating myself or self-care, as described in the first part of this blog.
Yolanda Brailey
In Season 4, episode 4 of Parks and Recreation, Donna (Retta) and Tom Haverford (Aziz Ansari) created the tradition of “Treat Yo Self” day. In this episode, they can be seen buying themselves whatever they want for a day. After the airing of that episode in 2011 the phrase “treat yo self” gained popularity. In fact, some people (including the actors themselves per a Google search) grew tired of the phrase after some time.
I would love to tell you that as a mental health therapist I have always practiced great self-care and never felt overly stressed or burned out. However, that is not the case. I have experienced seasons of stress and burnout and have had to walk through them and find support just like I am encouraging you to do in this month’s blog.
Stress, busyness and commitments of all sorts (those involving work or play) have become badges of honor in our society. Rarely are people praised for carving out time for rest or putting boundaries around what they will and will not commit to.
As a therapist, what is more concerning to me than burnout itself is that it has been normalized. Along with realizing that a lot of the people I talk with think that burnout is “normal,” neurodivergent clients experience burnout at a more intense and frequent rate than others. My 20-something neurodivergent friend recently told me that he expects burnout in life. While burnout does not have to be a normal part of life, after researching statistics of burnout in the neurodivergent population I have a better understanding of why he expects burnout is going to happen at some point.
If “burnout” was not something you heard about prior to the pandemic, 2020 sealed the deal in ensuring we all knew what burnout looked and felt like. I can still remember images of nurses and doctors with deep indents on their faces from wearing masks for endless hours while trying to save those battling COVID. I also specifically remember a picture of a mom crouching in her kitchen with her head in her hands. The caption noted that she had not bathed or changed clothes in a few days because she was trying to care for all of the “littles” (babies and toddlers) in her home without adequate support during the pandemic.
