Today’s education climate is more polarizing than ever. Educators feel caught in a bind of wanting to support LGBTQ+ students and build an inclusive classroom but fear real pushback from engaging in topics some consider “controversial”.
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.” This quote comes from Viktor Frankl who survived the Holocaust and wrote Man’s Search for Meaning. It is a good place to start when talking about gratitude.
Something I always come back to emphasizing in the therapeutic alliance is the need to build support outside of session. Your therapist is great, but they cannot be your village, your best friend, or your community. Especially since COVID, it feels like building community has become increasingly more difficult.
Control is mostly an illusion. We can control some things—such as the clothes we pick out to put on each day, the food we take into our bodies and how we spend our time. And yet, there are so many things we cannot control. And most of these are big things.
Loneliness is defined as a subjective, unpleasant feeling of isolation or lack of connection with others. Solitude is the quality or state of being alone or far-off from society: seclusion; an uninhabited place. Solitude is different from loneliness, in that when we speak of loneliness it has this negative undertone, like loneliness is not chosen. But, solitude has a neutral to positive tone, like to choose solitude or seclusion or to choose to be alone versus loneliness often implies that lack of choice. We all need solitude but we do not all NEED loneliness; there’s a difference. Solitude can be a great way to stimulate creativity!
Robert Coplan is a psychologist who studies the cost and benefits of solitude across the lifespan. Coplan cites the shower effect in an example of this, “If you do your best thinking in the shower, you are not alone”. The most common locations where people have sudden insights (“aha!” moments) include in the shower, during transport, and while exercising. Though these activities are not always solitary; these activities typically offer a break from our usual constant stream of information we have when engaging with others, especially socially. In solitude our mind has the space to wander, to think freely. Free thinking stimulates different parts of our brains than what we do normally. This gives backing to the suggestion of taking a break and then coming back to something later when you’re stuck. Give yourself some free-thinking space to let your mind wander and reset. Productivity is not always king, sometimes that rest, even mental rest is what is needed.
In the practical blog on this piece, we began unpacking the pros and cons of AI in the world of counseling. Here, I would like to continue that conversation. If you have not read the practical part of this blog on this topic, I encourage you to go back and do so. There are definite safety concerns when it comes to using AI in counseling and some of these are covered in that part of the blog.